Grand Slam

Every great power hitter in baseball usually hits a home run each week. And on occasion they hit the Grand Slam as Ann did (again) this week.

Rest in peace Ron, you were a good man.

I Tawt I Taw A Putty Tat!

I did, I did! And he was a fat little fagot with a lisp and a Nepolian complex who played a key role in the housing market collapse and who now heads the new "McCarthism" against free market, capitalist "traitors" assault. With people like "Bawny Fwrank" in charge what could possibly go wrong? Bill illustrates my point.

Thank God For Benjamin

Benjamin Netanyahu (Israel's prime minister-designate for you liberals) is currently fighting to establish a new Israeli government that would exclude any power sharing arrangement with the passive, liberal, Tzipi Livni. Is it me or is Tzipi actually Chastity Bono in some kind of weird, angry, lesbian time warp? Nevermind. For the sake of Israel (and the United States), let us hope Benjamin is successful in keeping this woman away from the grown up table. Tzipi represents the same liberal, passive and misguided ideas witnessed under outgoing PM, Ehud Olmert's (aka, Elmer Fudd) disastrous imitation of The Peanut Farmer; the appeasement of terrorists . Tzipi for example, believes in the Utopian concept of creating a "peaceful" Palestinian state, whereas Netenyahu believes in creating a peaceful Palestinian lake.

You see folks, Benjamin, like most sane people, understands that Muslims have absolutely no desire what-so-ever for peace with non-Muslims. Their message is very clear: convert or die. Liberals are incapable of accepting this harsh reality which leads to endless cycles of bloody attacks perpetuated by Muslims followed by liberal-orchestrated cease-fires for the sake of "talk and negotiation" (a futile exercise which translates to concessions for Muslim terrorists in exhange for nothing - except of course, more attacks in the future). Muslims welcome these Kum Bah Yah sessions as they allow for precious time to re-arm and plan their next attack - a vicious cycle we have endured for the past fifty years. Oh, that's right, I forgot. It's America's fault Muslims possess a sub-human culture, are vicious savages who treat their women like animals, strap bombs onto their children, decapitate non-believers on camera, and devote themselves to a religion of hatred and death. My bad.

Should Netanyahu prove successful in preventing Livni from obtaining any significant political power, the long over-due bombing of Iran's nuclear sites should commence shortly. It's time for "Pig-Pen" (Peanuts character for you liberals) to be provided the same education President Bush afforded Saddam Hussein (well, 10 years and 17 UN resolutions later). That is what Liberals refer to as a "rush to war". Another thing Liberals choose to forget is that "regime change" in Iraq was official U.S. policy - a policy put in place by "the Schlickmeister". Ah, how conveniently we forget huh, my liberal friends? Of course, Clinton took no action on his policy; it took a Republican President to do that. I digress... Now that America finds itself once again afflicted with a liberal sitting in the Oval Office, Israel will have to take matters into their own hands. How will Russia react? China? Things could escalate and become very dangerous. Do not be alarmed. Should the world suddenly find itself on the brink of war, the "Messiah" will ascend from the heavens (teleprompter in hand) to calm the planet with his majestic words of nothingness.

The White Buffoon In The Room

To give you an idea how desperate things (for those of us who love this country) are becoming under the Messiah's "leadership", the Great White Buffoon might be our last hope in averting catastrophe. Though you can count the number of times Joe Biden has been right about anything (on a fork) since he took office in 1973, his most polished skill (the inability to keep his mouth shut), might prove beneficial before it's over. I can sit here and point out 36 years of Biden insanity. However, what I cannot do is state with any certainty that Joe is a radical, Socialist, Marxist (like his boss). At this point, I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is not.

Joe grew up poor, the son of a used car salesman (who would'a thunk it?). Despite the error of his ways (being a Liberal), Joe's life, has been one of an American Democrat who I believe loves his country despite his misguided political views. This one characteristic alone might provide him the opportunity to do something which is rare for Joe - the right thing. Not that Joe has never done anything that could be considered "right". For example, his contributions on the Violence Against Women Act was an important piece of legislation for which he should be commended. However, his few good deeds pale in comparison to his history of being a complete Liberal idiot. And as you know, loose lips sink ships, so I remain hopeful since Joe has been appointed second in command aboard the Socialist Titanic. For Obama to think keeping Joe close so he can keep him muzzled might prove to be just the iceberg we need to thwart the current effort to destroy our nation.

Let us assume the march toward Socialism under Obama continues at it's current pace (rapidly). Let us also assume one of our enemies strikes us again now that we have another passive Liberal in the Oval Office (this isn't a long shot folks). Just look at the posture of North Korea, Russia, China and Venezuela in recent days. Finally, let us assume ole Joe (who's "undisclosed location" is a cage in the basement of the White House), gets fed up with being muzzled and grows increasingly uncomfortable serving an Administration hell-bent on the destruction of the American way of life. Maybe, just maybe, WHEN this moment arrives, Joe will for the first time in his life do the right thing and that which comes so naturally to him, open his mouth (only this time, in a positive way).

C'mon Joe, stand up!

Joe's Greatest Hits

Global Ignorance

Liberals are ignorant creatures who form their beliefs based on emotion; how they "feel". You will seldom hear a Liberal preface a statement with "I think", but rather, "I feel". Liberals possess grandiose, wonderful, Utopian ideas and "feelings". The only problem is that every Liberal idea lacks three very important components: fact, logic and reason. This minor oversight however, impedes a Liberal in no way, shape or form. The only factor of importance in the Liberal "mindset" is not whether or not their idea is rational, based in fact or reasonable but rather if it makes them "feel" good.

For me, engaging a Liberal in debate (about anything) is sport. Granted, it's an easy sport, but fun, none-the-less. Take for example the issue of gun control. Just bring up this subject with a Liberal friend, sit back, and allow them to go off into their insane rant. Then, when they have finally ran out of breath, ask them this question: So, you wouldn't mind me placing this sign in your front yard that reads "Gun Free Home", correct? At this point you will see that famous deer in the headlights look Liberals get when confronted with the dubious task of defending their insane position. It's great entertainment. Okay, so I am easily entertained.

Moving on. We have this "issue" of man-made, "Global Warming". However, since the insanity of this particular Liberal concept is increasingly being exposed, Internet inventor, and inspiration for the movie, Love Story has rushed to replace the "global warming" label with the new and improved "climate change" mantra. Ah, much better "Oliver". This way America and capitalism can be blamed, regardless of the direction Earth's cyclical temperature variations take. How "convenient". You might be interested to know that back in the 70's, our Leftist climate geniuses were screaming at the top of their collective lungs about the impending Ice Age, which ironically enough coincided with the emerging warming cycle that actually occurred. Oops.

Never-the-less, I am sure Liberals have it right this time. I mean even a Liberal is bound to be correct once in their life, right? Hell, if a broken clock can do it twice a day, surely a Liberal can pull it off once in a lifetime, no? Okay, let's pretend we have just subjected ourselves to listening to Al's "Inconvenient Truth". Now, I am not going to sit here and pick apart every single, lie and distortion Al makes in his comedic debut - I mean documentary. It's all been done repeatedly and besides, it would just bore you at this point. Therefore, I will share with you how I enjoy a brief discussion on "Global Warming" with my Liberal friends. Yeah right, like I have Liberal friends!

After your Liberal friend has concluded his/her convincing lecture on how mankind (Americans in particular) are causing the planet Earth to heat at a catastrophic rate (you know, SUV's, cow farts, light bulbs; you know the drill), hand your Liberal friend a piece of paper and a pencil (it must be a pencil as Liberals require the ability to erase). Now, ask your friend how long he/she believes the planet Earth has been in existence. Most scientists place the Earth at or around 4.5 billion years old. However, for your friend's benefit, go ahead and give them a billion or 2 either way. It will show your compassionate side and make you "feel" better.

Then, ask your friend about their education (in a friendly manner of course). "Bob", you did graduate high school or possibly even go to college didn't you? Okay, you can skip this part if you want, afterall I'm just an asshole. Ask your friend to draw a horizontal line on the paper that represents 4.5 billion years (or whatever age they suspect the Earth to be). Now, confirm that your friend understands mankind has only been documenting Earth's temperatures for the past 100 years. Hopefully, this will be acknowledged without argument. If not, you will have to spend a moment proving it. Next, ask your friend to draw another horizontal line, underneath the one representing the age of Earth, only this line shall proportionally represent the span of 100 years in relation to the line representing 4.5 billion years above it (roughly speaking, a dot). At this point you should begin to once again see that famous deer in the headlights look Liberals get whenever confronted with fact, logic and reason.

Now, if your friend has not already wadded up the paper and called you a Nazi; and you had asked the educational question prior to the exercise (as I humbly suggested), you then ask your Liberal friend if he took any courses in Statistics. It really doesn't matter, you would just get that look again anyway. Simply ask your friend if he/she actually believes the data contained in the "100 year" line (dot) is sufficient to conclude (without debate) that the planet Earth (which has experienced climatic cycles for millions of years - due to solar activity) is now suddenly warming at a catastrophic rate solely due to mankind (and cow farts). It's just fun to watch a Liberal who has just been confronted with fact, logic and reason still muster the ability to look you in the eye and say, "of course"!

Do any of you have a Liberal issue you would like to see presented here?

The Trojan Messiah

Nirvana has nearly been achieved in Washington DC. The Liberal, Socialist Democrats and their cuckold Republican counterparts have morphed into an incestuous orgy of political power. Republicans like to play the game of claiming only Democrats are in favor of big government. Nonsense. It is the goal of BOTH party's to establish a large, powerful, centralized government while at the same time ensuring a completely dependent electorate. A goal that has all but been achieved, or soon will be. The only difference is Republicans prostituted Conservative values to do so while Democrats on the other hand, had no values to begin with. Our great, last hope is that a Reagan Conservative will emerge from the cesspool and save us from the impending doom. Sadly however, there appears to be no such true Conservative within the ranks of the Republican party. To all of you Liberals who spewed visceral hatred toward President Bush for the past eight years, you are about to get a good taste of the Liberalism, Socialism and insanity you so deserve.

Liberals are in the process of finally learning the lesson: character does matter. Whether you are having sex in the Oval Office with a girl your daughter's age or associating with racists, Marxists, Socialists, radical Islamics, felons or terrorists. It does matter (as we are currently witnessing). While our Liberal media will pounce unmercifully upon any Republican indiscretion (resulting in his/her immediate resignation), the same media turns a blind eye to the character (and it's consequences) of Liberal politicians. With the exception of talk radio and FOX News, mainstream media wasn't concerned with the character and associations of Obama. While "the Messiah"and his circle of America-haters are putting the final touches on their own "Mission Accomplished" (America Destroyed) banner, the dumb masses continue to allow themselves to be manipulated by a media and government who have mastered the art of class-envy warfare.

Just look at the damage this man has inflicted on the American system (and people) in only 50 days. The deficit has been doubled in less than two months. He speaks of "trillions" of dollars as though it were pocket change. He could care less however, because repaying this debt is of no concern to his Socialist agenda. The Obama machine is hard at work putting the finishing touches on what Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd began some years ago - destroying the banking system so they could take it over. They are now attempting to do the same with our auto industry and health care system. Obama has already began speaking of the proposed cuts he intends for our military (during a time when Russia and China are growing threats and Islamic cockroaches approach nuclear capabilities). You wanted Liberalism? Enjoy it, you're getting the full dose.

I wish that what is transpiring before our eyes was merely a case of an inexperienced, incompetent, Liberal President (you know, like Jimmy Carter). I wish it was just a matter of a young, well intentioned, honest politician from the bowels of Chicago politics suddenly finding himself in over his head and ascending to the White House merely as the result of celebrity worship zombies who thought voting for President was like voting for the American Idol. I mean let's face it, Barrack sounds good saying absolutely nothing better than anyone in history, including "the Schlickmeister" himself (well, so long as the teleprompter doesn't break). However, I'm afraid it is far more serious. What is occurring within our government and the disastrous repercussions it is having on our way of life is intentional and by design. And I'm sorry Liberals, it's not George Bush's fault.

Liberal Enemy #1: The Godfather

The Liberal, Socialist slinky of doom has been launched down the stairway to Hell with little concern of a Republican obstacle. However, there remains one major threat to the Liberal party's ability to drag our Country into the abyss; Rush Limbaugh (The Godfather) and talk radio. With no existing threat from any Republican politician, Liberals have targeted the soul of Conservatism. Rush raised the ante this past weekend with his speech at CPAC. It was the call to arms Conservatives have long awaited and a shot over the bow of Liberal Republicans. And just what sent Liberals into a tizzy over Rush (this time)? He dared to say publicly that he hopes the Obama Socialist agenda fails. I am still in the process of trying to find a single instance where any Liberal over the past 8 years articulated a hope that President Bush succeeded (in anything). I will let you know if I locate ONE.

Following the speech, it was disappointing to see Michael Steele (for you Liberals, he is the newly elected Chairman of the Republican National Committee) refer to Rush as an "entertainer" and described his radio show as "incendiary" and "ugly". The firestorm his comments created among Conservatives was immediate and Steele quickly ran to Rush with an apology. Sorry Michael, sometimes "sorry" just isn't enough. You said what you said, and even more disturbing, you said it where you said it... on CNN (the Communist News Network). Time for you to go.

Liberals are already at work to restore The Fairness Doctrine though they will come up with a new, innocent sounding name for it. With Liberals controlling CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, NPR, and most major newspapers and magazines in the country, why does the "party of tolerance" have their collective panties in a wad over talk radio? Well, you see, while Liberals may be tolerant of such things as immorality, brutal dictators, Islamic terrorists, Communists, illegal immigrants, treason, the killing of the unborn, and criminals, they are completely intolerant of anyone who apposes their Socialist agenda (namely Christians and Conservatives) and will do everything possible to destroy that opposition.

So why is it that Liberals control the mainstream media but not talk radio? Well, it is not from a lack of effort. However, every attempt Liberals have made to infiltrate talk radio have failed miserably. You see, talk radio is a business that operates in the free market (another enemy of Liberals). Rush Limbaugh has a listening audience of 20 million people. This results in huge advertising dollars. It's a simple concept we call Capitalism... and it works. Liberals on the other hand could find no one who wanted to listen to their insane dribble on the radio. The result; there were few companies interested in purchasing commercials on a radio show that lacked an audience. As a result, Air America deployed a fascinating and innovative business model. They defrauded a boys club for cash and came up with a concept that could only be born in the mind of a Liberal... pay radio stations to air their programs. Say what? Bankruptcy soon followed. And these are the people who want to control every aspect of your life. Oh, and would the new "Fairness Doctrine" be applied to the mainstream media? Don't be rediculous.

Starting to get the picture?

That's Gonna Leave A (Skid) Mark

To all of you "Hope and Change and Yes We Can" myrmidons:

So, the stock market has plummeted 3000 points since The Messiah was elected. So, the number of unemployed is ascending rapidly. So, government is taking over the banking system and is poised to do the same with health care. So, terrorists and dictators around the world are licking their chops at the prospect of another ignorant Liberal (who for all we know is a Muslim himself) sitting in the Oval Office. So, the peanut farmer is relieved to know he may live long enough to pass the torch of the worst President in American history (ironically to a President engaging the same policies Jimmy implemented, though multiplied by 1000 %). So be it.

This country (well, half of it) is in desperate need of an enema. There is no better way to give it one than the FULL dose of Liberalism currently flowing through the tube. Unfortunately, things will have to get so bad even ignorant people (Liberals) get it. And this means the current political perfect storm will have to get Katrina bad because Liberals are a very very ignorant bunch. Should the country survive the current assault on Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, Reagan Conservatism will rise from the ashes and Liberalism will be dead for generations to come. And if we don't survive? See ya, bye, it's been fun.

However, before we can put on a fresh pair of tighty whities following the impending enema facing our nation , the so-called "compassionate Conservatives" (Liberals with an "R" after their name) must be flushed along with their Liberal Democrat comrades. The John McCains and Arlen Specters of the Republican Party must be purged from the bowels of the GOP. Any "Republican" politician who speaks of bipartisanship, "crossing the isle" or "working with Democrats" and possesses a history of voting for Liberal policies must be viewed as the Grim Reaper they are. We are at war from within folks and victory must be decisive. And unfortunately, obtaining political power is the only cause Liberals consider worthy of war.

Sound familiar?

Scared yet?

You should be.